Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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