I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize