OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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