I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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