I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
