thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
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Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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