cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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