The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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