i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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