i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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