the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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