We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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