that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize