It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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