sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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