Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize