I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
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Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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