I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize