I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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