the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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