she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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