will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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