Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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