Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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