Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize