He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize