Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
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The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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