apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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