my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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