If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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