when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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