Tell her she can't have a vagina
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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