i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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