She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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