I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize