you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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