I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize