I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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