Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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