It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize