Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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