Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize