i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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