All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize