She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize