Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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