he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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