It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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