walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
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And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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