Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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