I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize