Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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