sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize